10 Holiday Coping Skills

No matter how you celebrate the holidays, the season is most certainly upon us. If you tend to take on too much during the holidays and pay for it with stress and sickness, you aren’t alone, according to Nursing Coach Phyllis Quinlan, PhD, RN, NPD-BC. “When we do this, we get tired, we nag, we create hard feelings and regrets.”

But have heart because it is possible to balance work, school, family, friends, and sweet holiday memories. “It starts with planning well and taking a realistic mindset,” she advises. 

Ready to try? Consider Dr. Phyllis’ 10 tips to create a happy and healthy holiday season.

1. Protect your Health

Did you get your vaccinations? Are you taking extra Vitamin C and zinc? Stress combined with travel, shopping and gatherings can create a perfect scenario for getting sick. “We can’t avoid seasonal bugs, but we can take steps to knock it down, so we aren’t out for days on end.”

Protecting your mental health is equally important, because the giving season can deplete us. So, schedule one selfcare activity per week to recharge. “Maybe it’s a manicure or a trip to the salon. Or just getting out to a fun restaurant, seeing a friend or heading outside for a winter walk—whatever activity feeds your soul and revitalizes you.”

2. Find Planning Tools that Work for You

If you like making lists or color-coding a calendar, get these started. Or maybe your phone is your source for organization? If so, look for good apps to coordinate gifting, meal plans and even mindfulness. Here are a few to try:

- Cozi—This app offers collaborative to-do lists, family calendars and meal planning that you can sync with others.

- Amazon, Etsy, Giftster—These shopping apps allow wish lists and often send ideas. Some can help coordinate virtual gift exchanges.

- Calm, Headspace—These offer ways to manage stressors and maintain mental health to help make room for holiday joy.

3. Make a Gifting Plan

Planning gift-giving early can help you stick to your budget while being thoughtful and creative. “Online shopping can be a good way to get everything sent to the house so you can focus your gift-giving joy on wrapping in the comfort of your home without having to fight crowds and expose yourself to germs.”

As you make your list, remember to be realistic about how your gift will be received. “Don’t put expectations into a gift for a cantankerous soul who you know won’t appreciate it because this sets you up for hurt.”

4. Inventory Holiday Supplies

Taking an early inventory of holiday supplies such as wrapping paper and decorations can save last minute stress and multiple shopping trips.” If you remember your décor was a challenge last year, get out now and purchase new lights or whatever else you might need to avoid stressful surprises.”

As you think about decorations, consider how to focus on what you love most. “Remember the battle of diminishing returns—doing one more thing doesn’t always give more joy.”

5. Get Buy-In on the Celebration Schedule

Create a game-plan with your family and significant other about when to gather for the holidays … and try to spread out celebrations if possible. This can help circumvent stress, tension and upset closer to the holidays.

Looking ahead is also smart for planning your work/holiday balance. “Find out the projected OR schedule and on-call schedule so you can plan your holidays accordingly.”

6. Minimize Toxic Encounters

Try to get on the same sheet of music with your significant other to minimize toxic holiday conversation such as politics. “Peacekeeping shouldn’t fall totally on your shoulders, no matter what the conversation.” And try to stay neutral (or busy doing dishes) if you know you are prone to holiday conversation upset.

7. Create a Healthy Food Plan

This health-plan goes for reducing the pressure of cooking and the stress of calories and weight gain from holiday indulgences. “If you have volunteered to bring a dish to a gathering, consider picking up something pre-made that you can warm up. If you want to enjoy cooking a special dish, consider choosing one thing to put your energy into.”

On the holiday calorie front, remember that over-indulgence does not bring post-holiday joy. Enjoy, but look for healthy treats where you can. 

8. Find a Community Activity

If time allows, consider getting involved to help others. “Remember your own blessings— such as family, work and a roof over your head—and pay it forward.” Even small gestures such as making a second grocery trip for your local food bank can be life changing for someone in your community.”

9. Ditch the Need for Perfection

Planning early will save your sanity in many ways for the holiday season. But something unexpected will always come up that can derail plans.” Instead of aiming for a storybook holiday, focus on the blessings of the year and the family and friends surrounding you.”

10. Watch for Signs of the Holiday Blues

Holiday blues are not uncommon, so don’t dismiss it. “If you can’t get happy around the holidays, give yourself permission to get help by talking to someone about it … it’s a gift you can give yourself.”

Start planning for 2025

One important activity anyone can do during the holidays is take time to reflect. If you end up reflecting on your career trajectory in the coming year, consider career coaching sessions with Dr. Phyllis. AORN members get one session free.